Final Project pgs 1-6

So here are the first 6 pages of my project.  I think it will be about 14 pages long.  I don’t know why my stories are so serious, I’m not a serious guy.  Any critiques or comments are appreciated.  Thx for reading-

Ryan

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5 thoughts on “Final Project pgs 1-6

  1. i ain’t sure where to start.
    Storytelling, think of a comic page as a paragraph rather than a succession of stills from a film. Each panel is a sentence. It should move the story forward. Quit thinking what should i draw here and start telling yourself the story and let those images show themselves to you. I suspect that you are sometimes lost when you get to the next panel.

    Your first page could be a splash page, no need for three panels. Page 4 the last three panels, a guy disappears into the forest, could be one panel. The first panel on page 5 doesn’t even need to be there. Page six there are a couple panels that could be, guy climbing a cliff, guy climbing a cliff, guy reaches top.

    I hope that helps.

    Your panel structure on page 4 doesn’t have an obvious reading order.

    • Thanks, I super appreciate your honest feedback!

      I think you’re right, in this comic I am thinking of the panels more cinematically (cinematical?) than a traditional comic. Coming from animation I think a lot in key frames and trying to capture a sense of movement between the panels. I’m also trying to super-compress some parts of the story so I agree that can be a bit jarring.

      On page 4 that’s kind of a trick. If you read the panels on the right side from up to down it animates the action, and the panel on the left side is a quick-cut close up. The cool thing about comics that’s better than film is that the reader can read the same passage in multiple ways. Of course a trick doesn’t really work if you have to explain it… anyway I’m having fun experimenting we’ll see where it goes!

  2. Eisner favored what McCloud would refer to as the action to action transition. That would be each panel advancing the story as it were a sentence. The “action” of a sentence being a verb. The majority of your panels are what McCloud would call Moment to moment transitions, and Eisner felt that any such “inbetween” panel was unnecessary. I believe that moment to moment transitions should take advantage of animation of movement in order to make up for their lack of plot progression.

    Early in Frank Miller’s career he thought as you do that he could produce comics as film, but after consulting with Eisner came to understand his point of view. He felt afterword that his storytelling improved drastically.

    Animation requires images that tell stories as well. (Have you read Drawn To Life?)

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